A Glorious Mess

About six weeks ago, I entered a competition. Small confession here – I submitted four entries. That’s a habit of mine, in the hope that maybe someone will like something I have written out of my many entries, and I might get somewhere. Sometimes I laugh at myself for competing against myself, and wonder how I’d feel if I found out I won a competition but would also have come second, except the same person can’t have both prizes. Let’s not go there about the reality that so far, the judges haven’t liked any of my entries enough to get me anywhere, regardless of the number I submitted. It’s far more fun to have positive fantasies.

I don’t know if anyone else does this, but about a week after I’ve entered anything, I start checking my email. I have some friends who have placed in writing competitions; some of them knew of the selection in advance, and some didn’t. So, I check, and I check, because I don’t want to miss an important email.

Every time I check, I hold my breath. Will it be today? Is this one of the competitions that tell you that you’ve gotten somewhere or one that doesn’t? Will they send a newsletter, making an announcement? Any email that comes in from that organisation fills me with excitement and dread. Is this news? Or just a standard email? I want an answer and at the same time, I don’t. I will admit I also check the website and Facebook pages in case there isn’t a newsletter, and the results are only on the site where I entered.

I call my frequent checking ‘doing a hope check’. I hope there’s an email or an update. I hope it contains good news. I hope one day to get a mention somewhere and, eventually, maybe even a small win. If there isn’t any news, I am both deflated and pleased that I still have reason to hope.

I’m going to put it out there that I probably haven’t gotten anywhere in this latest competition because it has been six weeks and I haven’t heard anything. But there hasn’t been a general announcement either, and nothing is certain until the winners are named. So, until that time, I will continue to hope. And check.

Good luck to any of you in the same place.